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Wednesday, 7 May 2014


Humorist Martin Jensen, author of How to Keep Fit Without Exercise and How to Get What You Want has a genius for efficient living. We asked him to drop a few of his latest pearls for the blog. Here is the result:

All of us clean our teeth. Some use a simple toothbrush. Others use a spinning brush attached to a battery that is probably made by that excellent manufacturer, Braun.

So far so good. But there is a glitch.

Each time you clean your teeth, the mixture of water and toothpaste somehow escapes your mouth and dribbles down the toothbrush and your hand until it ends down your wrist, wetting your sleeve. You have endured this all your life. How much longer will you put up with it?

The solution is simple and profound.

Apply the toothpaste to the brush. Wet the  brush a little if you wish. Then place it in your mouth, retire to the bedroom and lie supine on the bed. (That means face-up. Prone, incidentally, means face down.)

Lie face-up on the bed and clean your teeth.

You will notice that the toothbrush now projects almost vertically from your mouth. Any drips stay in your mouth. After thus luxuriously cleaning your teeth, close your mouth, with the toothbrush still in it, return to the bathroom and spit out.

That's all there is to it. Why haven't you thought of it before? I'll let you into a secret. Even I only thought of it recently and, because of my great love of humanity, am sharing it with you now.

What? You want another revelation?


So you are still using Windows 7. A handsome looking program. But whatever happened to the COPY TO FOLDER command, so useful in XP and suddenly gone? Let alone the useful FILE command.

No, dear apprentice geek, you don't need to drag and drop and lose half your files in the process. Both commands are still there. But hidden. Aren't these Microsoft programmers cute?

Do this:

Open your MY DOCUMENTS window.
Up will come a permanent menu featuring the familiar and reassuring FILE, EDIT, VIEW, TOOLS, HELP.

Click on EDIT
Up will come MOVE and or COPY TO FOLDER.

Use it.

Yes, I know you can't thank me enough.

How to Keep Fit Without Exercise and How to Get What You Want are now available on Buzzword for a trifling 99 cents each.